Being Happy vs. Being Content

As my birthday approaches, I've been reflecting on this past year. I realized that before this year, I was never really living. I would go places, meet people, and accomplish goals. But I was living my life contently, not happily. And I didn't know it.

Sometimes we can be so driven that we forget about our own happiness. I never set out to find happiness because I thought smiling in pictures was enough. The people I met and things I've experienced this year changed my life. The joy I found this year is indescribable. Multiple things have led me to discover true happiness and I'll share some of them with you:

1.) I learned how to love and care for someone beyond myself.

2.) Some people stopped being friends with me and I let them. I didn't chase after acceptance, friendship, or love anymore.

3.) I learned the true definition of what it means to struggle.

4.) I didn't accept every opportunity. I did what I felt was right in my heart.

5.) I learned to value genuine people around me.

6.) I changed my goals and accepted that my dreams might change as time goes on. Once I stopped holding onto a specific vision that I had for my future, I felt free.

7.) I learned that being independent doesn't mean having to be alone.

8.) I appreciate small moments. The kind of moments that no camera will ever capture.

I wake up with a smile. I wake up with purpose. I stopped going through my day and started living. It's remarkable as I look back at my victories, both big and small. I'm excited to see what this (happy) year brings and this time I promise, I will really start blogging more.

20 Lessons I Learned This Year

Obviously I am a terrible blogger because this is the first time I'm updating this in months. But hey a girls been busy. Forgive me.

Updates: I finished an amazing junior year at college, I have a remarkable internship, I've discovered my love of consignment shopping, and my birthday's tomorrow!

This past year has been rocky at times, stressful, liberating, and life-changing. Here's a list a few things I learned:

1.) Step outside.

Sometimes the most outgoing people can remain in their own box. I went on a Spring Break trip to advocate against domestic violence. I remember in the beginning I was so hesitant to go even though I signed up and volunteered for it. I am so grateful that I took a leap of faith and went on the trip because it was the best experience of my life.

2.) Know the difference between being ambitious and motivated.

3.) Just because you miss someone doesn't mean you should re-open that door.

4.) Don't be too set on any one path.

5.) Keep the faith through the pain.

Sasha, my sister/best friend/cat suddenly died in December. It was devastating and I still miss her so much. I learned that she's in a better place and it was meant to happen.

6.) Speak up. Bring something meaningful to the table.

Observing is nice but I'm not sure where it really gets you. Ask questions, be a little too curious, and don't be silent. A little voice is better than no voice.

7.) Stop complaining if you continue to stay in negative situations.

8.) Do what makes you happy.

9.) Discouragement from others should become your encouragement. 

10.) Rejection can be such a blessing once we understand its meaning.

11.) Not every Youtube tutorial will work.

12.) Your hero should be similar to yourself.

My mom and my grandma are my hero's. I hope one day I can become a hero to somebody.

13.) Read the newspaper.

Acting like a dumb girl went out of style a long time ago.

14.) The only person who will continuously put you first is yourself.

15.) You are a reflection of the company you keep. 

16.) Be transparent but don't over expose yourself.

17.) Know your goals and remember your dreams.

18.) Collect stationary.

Thank you cards never go out of style.

19.) No blessing is ever too small. Appreciate everything.

20.) Don't rush.

Slow down because at the end of the day jobs will still be there, love will come, and things will fall into place. I'm in no rush to grow up.

November Lust: My T.V. Lineup

Sorry I’ve been absent from blogging lately but there’s been a lot of new developments (but more about that later).

Almost everyone who knows can tell you that I’m a Reality TV junkie. There should be a reality show for people who are obsessed with watching reality shows. But lately I’ve been into scripted shows for a change. So for this month here’s my suggestions for can’t miss shows. Enjoy!

The Real Housewives of Atlanta (Sundays 9/8c Bravo)

Come on, is this a surprise? I've been a fan of the show since 2008. I have a lot to say about this but I'll keep it brief. I love RHOA because it has everything a reality show needs to succeed. Drama, spice, fashion, love, friendship, and a bunch of different personalities. There's two new cast members and from the sneak peeks I've seen I'm going to have my popcorn ready. 

Scandal (Thursdays 10/9c ABC)

Honestly if you're not watching Scandal on Thursday nights your not really living...seriously. Olivia Pope and her staff are amazing to watch. Down to the casting, plot lines, and acting this show is amazing. It's set in Washington, DC and this is one of the few shows that accurately portrays the Nations Capital. Scandal always keeps you guessing and makes me proud to be a Blackberry user.

Gossip Girl (Mondays 9/8c The CW)

Gossip Girl is part of the reason why I wore headbands my entire 10th grade of high school. I can't believe it's the final season. If you liked Clueless or superficial fighting, definitely tune in. It's like a guilty pleasure. And who doesn't love the scheming of Chuck & Blair.

Chicagolicious (Tuesdays 10/9c The Style Network)

From blow-outs to smokey eyes Chicagolicious makes you want to catch the first flight out to the midwest. I really like that the show really features Chicago and what it's like to be a makeup artist or hair stylist at a high-end salon. The show is really different from Jerseylicious but brings the same punch of drama.

Criminal Minds (Wednesdays 9/8c CBS)

Where have I been all this time? Over the past month I've just discovered Criminal Minds. It has a great time slot right after Survivor. If you're into CSI and cop dramas then Criminal Minds is the show for you. I feel like a mini detective as I try to figure out the crimes. 

Teen Mom 2 (Mondays 10/9c, returns Nov 12th MTV)

I recapped Teen Mom 2 all last season and it really is a great show. No its not uplifting or really that positive but watching Jenelle makes the show gold. From divorce, DNA testing, child support issues, and dating, I'm super excited for this season. 

Start-Ups: Silicon Valley (Mondays 10/9c Bravo)

Now this show premieres next Monday and I can't give a full assessment yet. However, Bravo has been producing a lot of good new shows lately such a Gallery Girls. I like how they are starting to feature more shows about 20-somethings trying to make it.  

Did your favorites make the list? What will you be watching this month?

Surviving a Cold Classroom

Sometimes I enter a class and it feels like a nice Spring day and then my next classroom feels like I’m an eskimo in Alaska. What’s a girl to do? I don’t want to wear a heavy winter coat with faux fur in the beginning of October to class. But I don’t want my hands to shiver as I’m trying to take notes or listen to a lecture. My solution for my classroom’s temperature issue is to accessorize!

Scarves

A scarf is one of the few items you can use 365 days a year. I love the thick one’s from Forever 21, the wrap around one from H&M, and the colorful ones from Icing. Scarves can give your neck, shoulders, even head some love.  Read my 10 ways to stylishlywear scarves.

 

 

Jean Jacket

The jean jacket has made a fierce comeback. I like gray, brown, and black jean jackets. It’s easy to wear and instantly gives you a layered look.

 

Long Cardigan

Literally you can wear a long cardigan with leggings, a dress, jeans, skirts, anything! I think every woman should have at least 5 in their closets. I buy a lot of mine from New York & Company and TJ Maxx.

 

 

Fingerless Gloves

Winter may not be here yet but it’s coming fast. Fingerless gloves allows you type on your laptop, use your touch screen phone, and look fashionable all at the same time.

 

If all else fails try to sit towards the front of the classroom in the middle to avoid being close to windows. What are your tips or ideas for surviving cold classrooms?

Making Flaws your Greatest Assets

We all have things about ourselves that we are not the most proud of. But I think if you can own your talents you should be able to be proud of your flaws. I actually embrace my flaws and talk about them more than my strengths. I’ll explain:

You know your senior year in high school when you vote on Best Hair, Most Likely to Succeed, Best Car, etc, etc? Well in the back of my yearbook you will see that I was overwhelmingly voted Biggest Gossiper. Now back then I got a lot of side looks for this title but I was so happy because I knew deep down this could help me down the line. A year later when I started applying for summer editorial internships I put in my cover letter, “In high school I was voted Biggest Gossiper because I have to know all the facts to a story.” You see I’m not the type to spread rumors about other people but I need to know every side of a story. Whether it’s about who kissed who first or a political scandal, I need to know all the details or I don’t want to know the story at all. In the end every employer I interviewed with mentioned my cover letter and how they were so impressed about how authentic I was.

I could have easily hid my flaw but if I did that, how could I use it to my advantage? Flaws do not define you. If you have large ears claim it, don’t be embarrassed. Do you procrastinate? Flip it around & make it into the most positive thing about you. I believe a real person shows both their best and worst attributes to others and not just the side they want other people to admire.

It’s Up to Young Women to Vote

The primary reason why women fought to get the right to vote in the late 1890’s and early 1900’s was not to be equal to men but because we are different from men. Female issues need expression and are men experts on these subjects? I think not. Now I don’t consider myself a full out feminist but as a proud History major I can tell you that in some ways women are still considered second class citizens in the U.S. Things such as real salary equality and health options will not magically come if women fail to express their voices.

Women between the ages of 18-23 can sometimes have a hard time seeing where they fit in the spectrum of politics. I know that’s how I feel. It’s hard for me to imagine that in 10 years I could have a family, career, substantial bills, and a ‘grown-up’ lifestyle. When I casted my first vote in the primary election when I turned 18, I felt empowered because I knew my vote could in some way impact my future.

Perhaps I don’t understand how someone can cast 10 votes for the VMA’s Best New Artist but “can’t find the time” to vote in the upcoming Presidential Election. Women in some other countries are hindered to get an education and voting in any capacity is not even a question for them. So if we live in a country where we have the opportunities to make a real difference, why don’t we take them?

Whether it’s your school’s SGA elections or on a measure at your local town hall meeting, just vote! But especially on November 6^th head to your voting site. Don’t let the people older than us control our futures. 

Turning a Hobby into Success

Ever since I learned how to turn on a remote my life changed. I watch a lot of television. From a very early age I distinctively remember having a T.V. schedule for the shows I couldn’t miss. As I grew older many people said watching T.V. was a waste of my time and that I wasn’t doing anything productive. When I started college my counselors even tried to put me on a time management schedule where I had to cut out T.V. (craziness). But I knew that one day all my T.V. watching would pay off somehow.

Now I’m a reality television writer and one of the main requirements for my job is to watch my favorite shows and be actively engaged.When I applied for the position I listed 20+ shows I regularly watch and my company was so impressed. Could I have interviewed Real Housewives and got achance to preview shows weeks before they premiered if I hadn’t watched T.V.? Probably not.

At the end of the day you can either sleep on your talent orwork your hustle. No skill is useless. If you’re a great texter then enter a speed texting competition. Love to shop? Then become a personal shopper. So many people said my hobbies were stupid and if I had listened to them I probably wouldn’t be following my passions. Did you know in college one of Jim Henson’s professors told him there was no future in puppeteering? And look he created The Muppets. 

Failure is a Gift

Being an overachiever can look great for your resume but end up being terrible for your self-esteem. I think people are just afraid to fail or expect success from hard work and it doesn’t work like that. In my sophomore year in high school I tried out for my third play as a dancer in the musical You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. I made it through the entire audition process but didn’t get a part in the end. I was really hurt and even cried in the back of my drama class. A couple days later I went to my drama teacher and told her I still wanted to be involved in the production. I ended up becoming the Assistant Costume Designer and learned how to sew, take measurements, and the techniques of theater styling. A year later I became the lead designer for a 50+ person cast in Footloose.

You see if I had been cast as dancer I wouldn’t have saw the beauty in what it was like to work behind the scenes. So many doors opened up for me because I continued to be involved despite not getting the roles I hoped for. In my senior year I finally did become a dancer in my last musical. Costume design was never on my agenda or what I saw for myself. But honestly it was one of the best things for me to be involved in.

Failure is not a negative thing. It is only negative when you allow it to be. My failure created more opportunities for me. So when you don’t get the internship you applied for even though your interview went fantastic, don’t fret. When you try out for a team and already imagined how you would look in the uniform and get cut at the last minute, don’t fret. There is a reason for your disappointment and a better plan for you.

Collegiate Chic: Transitioning Colored Jeans into Fall

Who said summer is over just because the weather gets colder? I’m a big believer in recycling your clothes throughout the year. No, no I don’t think people should ever rock wedge sandals in the dead of winter but some staple pieces should remain in your closet. Recently I wore bright peach jeans & a thin cream long-sleeved top. I paired this with black gladiator sandals with a slight heel. This got me thinking: Must I say goodbye to my beloved colored pants when the temperatures dip below 65?

Unlike this summer when wearing bold prints & neon bottoms were the trend, Fall demands a much more classic statement. Pastel pants in violet, pumpkin, and turquoise shades should be definite items in your wardrobe. I can’t wait to wear an oversized black sweater, lavender skinny jeans, & some comfy Sperry’s.

"Over Achiever" top (Forever 21), Wet Seal jeans, Steve Madden shoes

 

But hey as a proud summer baby I’ll continue to enjoy the little bit of warm sunshine I have left.

New Faces, Tons of Reading, & Dancing: My 1st Week of School

Let me just say that being a transfer student is not easy. I got lost plenty of times, learned the necessity of walking shoes, and how I cannot slack on my studies. But my first week as a university girl was awesome. Welcome Week treated me very good. I got a ton of free stuff and everyone was so nice. Literally they were giving out college survival kits with Sephora mascara, popcorn, sticky notes, even flavored condoms. I thought to myself: this is not community college anymore.

My classes so far seem really interesting but kind of intense. Index cards will definitely be my friend this semester. In my transfer class we painted to release some stress (on the very first day of school).

On the first day of school the Black Student Union (BSU) held a cookout and the greeks put on a step show. Good times....

Friday Night rolled around and BSU held a Welcome party in the student union. All I have to say is stretch before you dance and wear comfortable shoes. There really should be class on how to dress for a party. 

Somehow the next morning I got up at 7:45 a.m. to participate in BSU's annual community service event. For the adopt-a-road project we picked up litter from our community. It was rewarding and I'm glad I got out and did something productive. Later that day was our first home football game of the season. I showed my support in the blazing heat, but it was worth it!

Now it's back to reading and filling my planner with deadlines and to-do tasks.



GWD Lesson of the week: Find balance with everything you do by prioritizing. For example, read a few chapters and take notes before going out at night. This way you won't be stressed later on and try to cram things in at the last minute.